Over the past two decades, my journey working with children and families across India has taught me something simple but profound: the foundations of our social world are laid very early in life. Through the nonprofit founded by my parents and I being by their side, the work has been sustained by years of grassroots engagement, where I have seen how the earliest years shape not only a child’s development but also the norms they carry into adulthood. The way we grow up observing relationships, responsibilities, and emotions quietly shapes the kind of society we later build.
Why the First Years Matter So Much
Early childhood is not just another phase of development. It is a period when social, emotional, and relational patterns begin to take form. Children learn how people relate to one another, who does what in the household, and how power and responsibility are distributed. These early impressions remain with them for years, influencing how they behave as adolescents and adults. If we want long-term social transformation, we must begin here, in the earliest environment children experience.
Bringing Fathers into the Conversation
One of the most important lessons from my work has been the need to include fathers more intentionally. Earlier in our programs around maternal and child health, discussions revolved almost entirely around women. We spoke about breastfeeding, maternal nutrition, and neonatal health, but men were rarely present in those conversations. Around 2015, we began actively involving fathers. What followed was a visible shift in many households. Decision-making became more collaborative, responsibilities more shared, and family environments more supportive.
When children grow up seeing fathers actively participating in domestic responsibilities, they internalize those patterns. Boys who witness such involvement are far more likely to contribute fairly within their own households later in life. These are not abstract ideas; they are realities I have seen repeatedly in families we have worked with. Even in my own home, small moments remind me how powerful early modeling can be.
The Emotional Imprint of Childhood
I often reflect on how childhood experiences leave deep emotional imprints. I carry memories of witnessing violence in my early years, and those memories still feel vivid. They have shaped how I try to create a different environment in my own life. When families nurture non-violent and respectful relationships, the benefits are not only social but deeply personal. Men who adopt such values often lead happier and healthier lives. These emotional dimensions are just as important as behavioral ones.
Barriers We Must Acknowledge
At the same time, I have learned to recognize the barriers that stand in the way of change. Many social expectations still define men primarily as financial providers and authoritative decision-makers. Such rigid norms restrict boys from being exposed to nurturing roles early on and limit the availability of alternative role models. In many families I have encountered, caregiving remains seen as a woman’s responsibility, reinforced not just by culture but by everyday practice.
Institutional systems also play a role. Organizational policies frequently emphasize maternity benefits but neglect paternity leave, sending a subtle but powerful message about who is expected to take responsibility at home. Similarly, many public services are structured around the assumption that mothers will always be primary caregivers. These systemic gaps make it harder for men to participate meaningfully even when they want to.
Changing Mindsets and Expanding Knowledge
If we want lasting transformation, we must work on both cultural attitudes and knowledge gaps. Families need to create environments that support shared responsibilities and encourage aspirations regardless of gender. At the same time, we need more action-oriented research that examines how early childhood experiences shape social norms. Despite the importance of this area, there is still limited research focusing specifically on the role of men in early childhood development.
Extending the Work Beyond Childhood
While much of my focus has been on early childhood, the journey has naturally expanded into related areas such as sexual and reproductive health. One example that remains close to my heart is our advocacy around menstrual health. We discovered that millions of schoolgirls appearing for board examinations faced challenges because sanitary pads were not permitted inside exam halls. Through sustained engagement with policymakers, we were able to contribute to a national advisory mandating basic provisions at examination centers. Knowing that such a change can affect millions of girls is deeply humbling.
On the other hand, with growing obsession, influence of social media on young adolescents and increasing screen time is a cause of worry to us and every parent that we work with. Its strong linkages with stress, anxiety and depression adds further pain. We are working to address this issue through life skills education, driving scale through government partnerships and stakeholders’ engagements.
Small Steps, Lasting Change
Over the years, I have come to believe that meaningful change often begins with small, practical steps. Whether encouraging fathers to participate more actively at home or making menstrual products affordable and accessible in public spaces, incremental actions can create lasting impact. These interventions may appear modest, but they reshape everyday realities for families and communities.
In the end, the message I carry from my journey is simple. The future we hope to see is quietly shaped in the earliest years of life. If we pay closer attention to what children observe and experience during this time, we may discover that lasting transformation does not always begin with grand policies, but with everyday moments inside homes and communities.
